I’m no Superman.
I’m kinda looking forward to this weekend. Three day weekends are nice because it puts a friendly curve on the entire week. Who doesn’t want to think it’s Wednesday, but realize it’s Friday, am I right? I look forward to sleeping in and resting the muscles that awoke from their summer hibernation suddenly during Miss Chris’ M.S. Dance workout. I look forward to prepping for Beauty and the Beast coming up next week. I’m actually even looking forward to putting the first set of grades in the grade-book! How crazy is that! I guess it’s good to look forward to something.
I continue to be concerned for my Grandmother…I’m not sure if you all know, but she’s going in for surgery early September. To try and describe how this makes me feel would be very hard. You know how everyone has that one person in their lives that is their “Superman?” That persona who exemplifies the character you wish you had. My grandmother (aside from my wife) is my best friend and she’s just the best thing since sliced bread. She’s wise, giving, thoughtful, kind, considerate, a hard-worker, a devout Christian, a mother, a sister, a grandma, a great-grandma…and she continues to shoot from the hip and make me laugh. There has never been a moment, a success, a triumph, a pitfall, etc…where she hasn’t been there for me. I love her more than words, and….I’m scared. She went in for a routine check-up…the doctors found something to be concerned about…and two tests later, she scheduled for surgery. She’s 78 years old. *Sigh* Hmmm. I’m not sure what to think about that. What do you do when you see your Superman struggling? What do you do when a source of your own strength is weak? What do you do…when you can’t do anything? Have faith? It’s hard sometimes. I pray. I ask the Lord to please take this burden off of my heavy heart. But even that doesn’t put me in Jackson, Michigan, sitting next to my Grandma in her enclosed front porch.
It’s a scary thing, surgery. Putting your life in the hands of another…willingly. But, if you think about it, I suppose we do it everyday. Not on the operating table, mind you. But parents put their kids in the care of teachers. I care for my new little Frankie, and he trusts that I’ll fill his food dish everyday. We put our trust in the Lord, don’t we? We try anyway. Perhaps that’s what makes this situation so hard. Perhaps I’m still “not used” to putting my trust in God. (Which begs the question…does anyone ever “get used to it?”) In a cage match against a tiger…I KNOW my Grandma could fend for herself. She’s Superman. But…I have such a very difficult time dealing with the fact that I have to trust in the Lord, that whatever happens, it’s part of his plan…it’s part of a bigger plan, that is….and I need to have faith that everything will be okay, including Grandma.
So, I’ll continue to worry. I’ll continue to call Grams and talk about the giant deer that are haunting her front yard and robbing her bird feeders. I’ll continue to hope that from 2000 miles away, my fervent prayer will lift her up as swiftly as if I were right next door. I’ll try to shift focus and look forward to this Christmas, because she’d better have some yummy cheese-straws waiting for me, darn it!
I’ll hope. I’ll pray. The Lord is good, and I know that no matter what happens…Grandma will be taken care of. The power of prayer is unmeasurable…and when you have to put your trust in others….sometimes, it’s all you got. We’re not Superman, you know.
My new doggie Frankie, my white-haired fluffy new buddy is something else. He’s a gentle giant, I’ll tell ya. His droopy eyes and warm welcomes make coming home very pleasant. I’ll sit on the couch and hold his heavy head on my lap. I’ll hug his big ‘ol head and hold his paw.
I’d give just about anything to give my grandma a hug right now or to hold her hand. I know she’s scared even though she’d NEVER admit it. But like a Army private taking his orders from the Admiral, I will keep my chin up, and I will be confident that things will be okay. “Aye, aye, grandma.”
Until I CAN see her again…and look her in the eye…I’ll continue filling my doggie’s bowl…I’ll continue to look forward to three-day weekends…and I’ll continue to pray. Sometimes that’s all you got.